oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
