Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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