Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
