It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
