New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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