butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
