I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
