Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
