Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
