I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
