his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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