Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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