I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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