Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
