I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
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