Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
