let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize