He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
