I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
