No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
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I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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