So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
