not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
