This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
