OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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