he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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