what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he was CRYING into my vagina
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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