i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm sobbing to NWA
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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