He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
