Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
