like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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