I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
