We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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