I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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