I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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