I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
