we're chasing vodka with high fives
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
