I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
