i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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