Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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