She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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