get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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