i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
