I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
