I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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