Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
