3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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