Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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