Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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