You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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