First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
