i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we have officially lost it.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
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Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am