I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
