C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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