I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize