It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
