Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
