she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
