I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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