Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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