frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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