wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
