I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
