Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
